Because here’s the thing about realizing you’re into girls. Hardly anyone I know has ever said, “Am I gay?” in the same way they say, “Hey, do you know what the weather’s supposed to be like tomorrow?” Like they just need to figure out how to dress for the occasion. No, when most people ask, “Am I gay?” they ask it with the kind of urgency they would usually reserve for things like, “Do I strap this parachute to my back and jump from this free falling airplane or do I nose dive into the ocean and hope the sharks don’t eat my remains? SINK OR SWIM? LIVE OR DIE? QUENCH THE FIRE OR BURN ALIVE?” It feels so urgent, and the reason it feels so urgent is because you’re probably not just asking, “Hey, do I want to make out with other girls?”
You’re also probably asking: What the hell are my parents going to say when I tell them I want to kiss other girls? And my friends and my co-workers and my classmates and everyone at my family reunion? And what’s that girl going to say when I tell her I want to kiss her? And how is my life ever going to be OK, and how can I go on being the same, and am I the same, and what else do I not know about what’s alive inside me? And who will still love me and who will start hating me, and is God involved, or the government maybe, and what if it’s only one girl I want to kiss, and how do I label myself and must I label myself, and what if I change my mind and, really, what if I do burn alive?
Gaelick: On being a bisexual with a boyfriend
Ms. Gay Limerick is bisexual and has been blogging about it in the Irish lesbian blog Gaelick —
“I have been dating my best friend for the last month. My best friend is a boy. Before anyone starts throwing stones of “passing”, “straight privilege”, “heteronormativity,” or “attention seeking skank”, hear me out.
There is little point in trying to deny that parts of the queer community are rife with biphobia. I dealt with it a lot with Ms Gay Limerick and even more with Ms Gay Ireland. For the year and a half I have been out, I am very careful what I say to certain people. Sometimes it feels like the more political and vocal I get about bisexual identity, the more backlash I seem to get.
Previous to dating the current boy, I was very hush hush about my romantic life to anyone outside my best friends and my mom. I didn’t want the LGBTQ circle to find out I was flirting with boys, I didn’t want my straight friends to know I was shifting girls. I became overly conscious of avoiding gender pronouns and did all I could to avert the inevitable slut shaming that tends to follow bisexuals around. I even censored myself when writing Gaelick articles so I could be sure there would be no flaming.
Finally, there came a point when I realised that I was acting like I was still in the closet. In the same way I used to hide that I loved the ladies, I was now ashamed of not being gay enough.”
please click link to keep on reading
"My pet peeve is being accused of not being gay enough. I will never be gay enough. I am not gay. I am bisexual."
I’m just thinking that would be pleasant. To be reading, say, out of a book, and you to come up and touch me – my neck, say, or my knee – and I’d carry on reading, I might let a smile, no more, wouldn’t lose my place on the page. It would be pleasant to come to that. We’d come so close, do you see, that I wouldn’t be surprised out of myself every time you touched.
Seven posters with contrasting images:
- [Pride parade] “This party is so gay.” / [Bored partygoers] “This party is so boring.”
- [Flower] This is a pansy. / [Young man sitting on the front steps] This is a boy who’s having a bad day.
- [Dog] This is a bitch. / [Young woman crossing her arms] This is a girl who speaks her mind.
- [Garden tool] This is a hoe. / [Young woman leaning forward] This is a girl who likes your boyfriend.
- [Cigarette butt] This is a fag. / [Young man] This is a guy who annoys you.
- [Three young women] These are girls. / [Three male football players] These are athletes who lost a game.
- [Queen of hearts and queen of spades] This is a pair of queens. / [Husbands leaning their foreheads together] This is a couple who’ve been together for 20 years.
The text at the bottom of each reads:
“Sexist and homophobic words are violent and they’re everybody’s problem. Realize words have an impact — even if you don’t see it. Challenge sexist and homophobic language. Choose different words. Change the subject. Support people who are being harassed. Use humor to change minds. Violent words support violence. Everybody has a backbone. Use yours.”
(from Backbone Zone)
this campaign is awesome.